Flag Counter The Political Freakshow • Todd Akin Claims Breastmilk Cures Homosexuality (ACTUALLY SATIRE)

Todd Akin Claims Breastmilk Cures Homosexuality (ACTUALLY SATIRE)

sageoflogic:

stoneagechronicles:

justinspoliticalcorner:

Missouri U.S. senate candidate Todd Akin has stoked more outrage today by claiming that male homosexuality is a disease and that the medical establishment has found the cure.

The Republican congressman, already under fire for his controversial comments regarding rape, told a reporter for Cape Giradeau’s KBSI 23 News that “female breastmilk - when fed directly to an adult homosexual male daily for at least four weeks - has a 94% chance of permanently curing homosexual perversions.”

Akin made the scientifically dubious statement during an interview that was supposed to mark the “rebirth” of his campaign to defeat incumbant U.S. senator Claire McCaskill.

Akin was leading in the polls until August 19th when he told a local radio host that victims of “legitimate rape” could not become pregnant because “the female body has ways of shutting that whole thing down.” In the wake of the ensuing controversey his 11 point lead in the polls has turned into a 10 point deficit, and obeservers have written off his chances at winning the seat.

In the interview Akin explained that he will never back down from his beliefs and he is excited to bring his unique brand of conservatism to the U.S. Senate.

Ducking questions about his viability he proceeded to educate reporter Jeff Raskin on several issues very close to his heart including the global conspiracy to falsify the fossil record in the name of “radical Darwinism”, and the plot to turn Michigan into the capital of a new Islamic States of America.

Spray the Gay Away

But the congressman really hit his stride when discussing homosexuality.

“This may surprise you Jeff, but I don’t think homosexuality is a choice. We evangelicals, we know that it’s a disease. But the good news is - we have the cure.”

Akin then explained, ”The National Institutes of Health has treated hundreds of young men through clinical trials at their headquarters in Maryland. They don’t want the public to know because the secular liberal elites have succeeded in brainwashing the public into believing that homosexuality is a positive thing.”

“We now know how to purge men of sin and put them on a path towards god. Why can’t every gay man in America have that knowledge? Just 4 weeks of live breastfeeding can cure them of their terrible suffering. Why aren’t we talking about this?”

Somewhat dumbfounded by the brazenness of Akin’s pronouncement, the reporter then asked if this supposed treatment only worked on men.

“Lesbians can be cured by drinking something else,” Akin replied “I’ll leave that one to your imagination.”

h/t: The Daily Currant

Someone get some Pepto-Bismol for Todd Akin’s mouth.

Let’s resolve this once and for all: This is satire-

Source: justinspoliticalcorner

108 Notes/ Hide

  1. musingsofburnttoast reblogged this from justinspoliticalcorner
  2. chewingchewychewinggum reblogged this from highfunctioningdarklordofall and added:
    Just when you think you’ve heard it all.
  3. neilpatrickharry reblogged this from doctorhowmany and added:
    I honestly didn’t realise it was satire till I saw it was from the Currant. I honestly thought this was real.
  4. nochesbajolasestrellas reblogged this from weltabgewandt
  5. weltabgewandt reblogged this from olga-lemongrass and added:
    SO. GROSS.
  6. whipmyfrobackandforth reblogged this from bwstickles
  7. bwstickles reblogged this from seivelun and added:
    This article’s source is from the “currant” its a satire website. ((((((this article isn’t true))))))
  8. aw0lnnati0n reblogged this from highfunctioningdarklordofall
  9. ilove-asianguys reblogged this from freakosaurus and added:
    women drinking semen everyday for 4 weeks cures lesbianism thats omg please help me
  10. freakosaurus reblogged this from sunmoon-starsrain
  11. stylesmcgoo reblogged this from highfunctioningdarklordofall
  12. hikouki-gumo reblogged this from dropsofstars and added:
    FYI, the source is a joke news site like The Onion.
  13. uncagethemonster reblogged this from highfunctioningdarklordofall and added:
    anymore, reality has become an embarrassing parody of itself
  14. keydav reblogged this from highfunctioningdarklordofall
  15. doctorhowmany reblogged this from highfunctioningdarklordofall and added:
    anymore, reality has become an embarrassing parody of itself The worst bit is, he could plausibly think this. Right up...
  16. highfunctioningdarklordofall reblogged this from sunmoon-starsrain and added:
    So unfortunately I didn’t actually check the source, which is luckily a satire website. Hopefully (and I do really mean...
  17. dropsofstars reblogged this from goodefornothing
  18. sunmoon-starsrain reblogged this from goodefornothing
  19. goodefornothing reblogged this from stoneagechronicles
  20. octopusonrollerskates reblogged this from stoneagechronicles
  21. university-of-homofornia reblogged this from inthehalf-light
  22. inthehalf-light reblogged this from adlegend21
  23. superheroesfightdragons reblogged this from nayhomes and added:
    What the fuck? What the actual fuck? I can’t believe our government allows dumb fucks like this to help run our...
  24. sharpelevensanddullfives reblogged this from stoneagechronicles and added:
    I was so ready for this to be real because people ACTUALLY BELIEVE SHIT LIKE THIS.
  25. theboywho-neversleeps reblogged this from listen-lesson-keep-away
  26. hello-issy reblogged this from stirringthecauldronoffabulous
  27. fuckyeahdiomedes reblogged this from stoneagechronicles
  28. dan-da-bazooka reblogged this from justinspoliticalcorner
  29. dream-emulator reblogged this from stoneagechronicles
  30. tiny-donut reblogged this from int0thesunlight
  31. backtracingcyberpolice reblogged this from stoneagechronicles and added:
    OH MY GOD WHAT
  32. audio-logical reblogged this from listen-lesson-keep-away
  33. wu-tang-sam reblogged this from urrectum and added:
    Unfortunately, this actually did happen. This Akin guy needs to just stop talking. And living.
  34. listen-lesson-keep-away reblogged this from digital--age and added:
    What a poor, poor excuse for a human being. I mean just poor. God damn.
  35. bigmisterc reblogged this from urrectum and added:
    Well, look at the links to other stories on that page and decide for yourself if it’s real: Ayatollah Khamenei Endorses...
  36. biophiloi reblogged this from gaychristian and added:
    Political. Fucking. Suicide.
  37. truthsstrippedofpoetsgloss reblogged this from gaychristian and added:
    Please tell me this is a joke…. I don’t want to live in this country anymore.
  38. occupyv reblogged this from justinspoliticalcorner
  39. rpowelliii reblogged this from gaychristian